


Backwards, Backwards, Never Forth

by NarcissusPhinea



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Unrequited Love, me projecting a lot, unbeta'd we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 10:42:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18497296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NarcissusPhinea/pseuds/NarcissusPhinea
Summary: Paul still thinks about John a lot. Did anyone expect that to change?





	Backwards, Backwards, Never Forth

**Author's Note:**

> This is me projecting my feelings onto the Beatles lmao. Not trying to insinuate this is what really went down in any way.

There is so much left. It's like a shattered piece of glass: it's broken, but all the little bits are on the ground in front of you, and they're pretty and glistening (sharp and painful) and you just want it back in one piece. You don't... You don't touch it. Just let it sit and collect dust.

  
Maybe you poke it every once in a while, pretend it's anger that spurs you on and not loneliness, wanting. It stays broken.

  
Paul doesn't know if John hates him. It's either that or plain indifference, which would also be enough to rend his soul.

  
That's why he doesn't ask. Right now, without confirmation either way, it's a Schrödinger situation where John hates and loves him all in one. Okay. It's easier to pretend that way.

  
They're married now. Can you imagine? Both got women to come home to every night. That's not a lie, because you can love more than one person at once. If this were a fairytale, John would be his soulmate and their women would happily let them go, say, it's okay! I just want you to be happy, John and Paul, our relationship meant nothing. I have tears in my eyes, a ring torn off of my finger, but I am happy for you. In fact, I like women now!

  
That would be a perfect scenario, in some ways. But Paul wouldn't even be happy with that. Humans are forgetful and never, ever satisfied.

  
Paul and John. John. Mr. Lennon, if nothing else, if he ignores any extra, additionally messy emotions, they were good friends. Supportive, a good time, all his best memories came from there.

  
If he doesn't ignore the messier parts, he's almost tempted to say he's in love. John is something special. Enigmatic, and so, so magnetic. He has issues, but they're always to easy to overlook. John is slim, John has a very nice figure which is very difficult to ignore. If John were put right in front of Paul right now, he would probably not say a word to him. Just stare at his neck, his wrists, his shoulders.

  
John kind of scares him. Can this be called love? Probably not. It itches under his skin that Paul knows things about John no one else does. Well, he probably does, if he could just dig up a memory not shared by George and Ringo. John definitely knows things about him, at least, and Paul can imagine him pulling out a folded piece of paper from his suit's pocket. It says: THINGS I KNOW ABOUT PAUL MCCARTNEY.   
• Everything

  
Indeed. They'll go on with their life, because time doesn't wait for a pining idiot. Paul can't stop thinking about John, though.

**Author's Note:**

> I hate to be like every other author in existence, but kudos and comments sustain me where food and water cannot. I love you children


End file.
